Greetings, SuperFriends!

Today we are joined by Myke Macapinlac. Myke went from a shy immigrant who used to work as a structural designer to becoming a podcast host, a social skills coach, and a lifestyle entrepreneur.

He now teaches shy people who are technically skilled to improve their social confidence so they can create meaningful connections in their personal, romantic, and professional lives. His work has been featured in the Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in the Huffington Post.

A little bit of backstory now. I actually went on Myke's show to talk about my latest book, The Only Skill That Matters, and I was so impressed by the little bits of his story that he shared with me that I immediately asked him to get on the show to talk to you. As you can tell, he agreed, and thus this episode was born.

I really enjoyed talking to Myke because he and I both strolled down memory lane of our own journey going from being socially awkward, uncomfortable, and lacking in confidence to where we are today. It was a great conversation, and I think there is a lot of benefit in it for all of you, both men and women. Please enjoy!

-Jonathan Levi

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In this episode, we discuss:

• Who is Myke and how did he get here? [4:10]
• How did Myke change his situation? [6:50]
• What are some of the first changes that happened to Myke? [9:30]
• What are some of the things we can do to change how we show up in social situations? [10:45]
• Body language and physiology [12:30]
• What other things should we be aware of when it comes to social interaction? [13:25]
• Does the pickup artist scene hold valuable information? [14:50]
• Becoming the version of yourself that would thrive in social situations [19:00]
• The importance of empathy [22:40]
• What is Myke working with clients on? [24:55]
• What are some other areas of life Myke has gone SuperHuman in? [30:50]
• Some SuperHuman hacks that Myke utilizes [33:40]
• Some homework by Myke Macapinlac for you [36:55]
• Some books that have impacted Myke [39:00]
• Where can you learn more about Myke and his work? [40:45]
• Myke Macapinlac's final takeaway message [41:15]

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Our previous episode with Joe Polish
• The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss
• Social Confidence Mastery, Myke's program
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
• Ask and It Is Given by Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks
• Social Confidence Mastery
  • Podcast
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Favorite Quotes from Myke Macapinlac:

TRANSCRIPT:

Introduction: Welcome to the award-winning Superhuman Academy Podcast. Where we interview extraordinary people to give you the skills and strategies to overcome the impossible. And now here's your host, Jonathan Levi.

Jonathan Levi: Before we get started, I want to take a moment to talk to you guys. Personal development. You see if I've learned anything over the last five years of hosting the show, it's that the journey of self-improvement never ends. There's always a way to improve and grow. That's why my team and I have recently launched Superhuman Squad. An all access pass to the full library of personal development courses.

Think of it as the Netflix of personal development for just $49 a month. You get access to each and every one of our premium courses, which sell for as much as $399 each. Best of all, you'll be the first to gain access to our new courses, courses that we're developing in partnership with some of the most esteemed thought leaders we've ever hosted on the show to get started, simply visit superhumanacademy.com.

Greeting, Superfriends, and welcome, welcome. Welcome to this week's episode, which was lovingly crafted. Thanks to a review from Andy Cohen of the United States of America, who said one of the very best five stars. I stumbled upon John Levy in a previous life, and I am constantly grateful for it. Have been meeting to write a review as a small way to impart my gratitude for the incredible quality and depth of content he and his team put out.

I never ended up writing. Taking on something valuable and actionable to enrich my world and those who are a part of it. Thank you sincerely to the whole team. May your reach continue exponentially? Well, wow. First off, thank you so much, Andy. And second off, when I saw your name, come in on the review, I was like, Could it possibly be the same Andy from a past life.

So I do remember you and I do appreciate the review. And if you would like me to reminisce about you on the air, then please go ahead and leave a review. Wherever reviews are left onto today's episode. You guys today, we are joined by Mike Macapinlac. He went from a shy immigrant who used to work as a structural designer.

To someone who is a podcast, host, social skills, coach, and lifestyle entrepreneur. He now teaches people who are technically skilled to improve their social confidence so that they can create meaningful connections in their personal, romantic, and professional lives. And yes, you have seen Mike in the Calgary Herald Breakfast Television on Shotty TV and the Huffington Post.

Now a little bit of backstory. I actually went on Mike's show. To talk about my latest book, the only skill that matters. And I was so impressed by the little bits of his story that he shared with me, that I was like, Hey. You want to come on my show and talk to my superfriends. So he agreed and the following episode was born.

I really enjoyed talking to Mike because he and I both stroll down memory lane of our own journey going from being socially awkward, uncomfortable, and lacking in confidence, both for he and for me to where we are today. Really enjoyed the conversation. I think there will be a lot of benefit for all of you, both men and women.

So please enjoy this conversation with Mike Macapinlac.

Mr. Mike Macapinlac. How are you, my friend?

Myke Macapinlac: What's up, man. Thanks for having me on the podcast and, uh, being flexible with your schedule. I know you're calling from the other side of the world. I appreciate it. 

Jonathan Levi: Well, I also really appreciate you having me on your show. And I was so fascinated by the little bits and pieces that I got of your story while you were interviewing me that I just had to have you on the show and learn more about you.

Myke Macapinlac: I appreciate that. Thank you. Awesome.

Jonathan Levi: So Mike, tell us your Superhuman origin story.

Myke Macapinlac: So the whole thing started when my family and I moved to Canada and I was 17 years old. And as an immigrant, my first few years in a brand new country was a huge struggle. So to give you guys some context, you know, I was born on a small farm back in the Philippines, but then I was raised, I spent my teenage years in Saudi Arabia.

So if you've been to both countries and if you haven't, you know, I should mention that they're both. Conservative, you know, the way they do things is very different. Like for example, in Saudi, when I lived there, it was considered to be impolite to make prolonged eye contact and stuff. And back in the Philippines, you know, like very it's, it's very conservative.

Right? So coming here to North America, it was a huge culture. And, um, you know, the first few years being here in Canada specifically was just a huge struggle due to a number of things. Number one, I didn't speak English back then. Number two, I was massively overweight. In fact, at five, I used to weigh 200 pounds, and number three, I suffered from really bad social anxiety.

In fact, I remember back in high school, I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because, uh, I was too shy to mingle with the other kids. And also I grew up with this belief that if I went to school, I got good grades and I got a good job, then everything else will be successful. So that was my guiding principle, mine, my entire life, you know, like achieving academic success and focusing on technical skills.

And it's funny because I actually did well in school and right after I graduated, I got a high-paying corporate job. My life through that point, I've just checked off all the boxes. And then I came to this realization that I was still unhappy. And I didn't know why until I realized that there was something missing, you know?

Um, yes, it's true that you know, it's good to be educated to be professionally successful, but that's not enough. You also learn how to connect with people if you want a meaningful life. Because at the end of the day, it's about the relationship we have and, and the way we interact with others that makes life fulfilling in my life.

Jonathan Levi: Well, I love that. And you know, the other thing that I love about that first, you and I share so much of the story that we had to go and find this professional success only to come back and realize it's not enough, right. It's not fun to be at the top of the hill alone, but also. When I interviewed Joe Polish, he said, you know, people like to say that time is money, but the watch has never paid me anything.

What has made money in relationships? Relationships are money. I totally agree. I really love that. So tell me about how you started this journey. I mean, today you're known as a podcaster author and social confidence and a thought leader. How do you go about learning? Something like that?

Myke Macapinlac: You know what it started off as just like me wanting to fix my situation.

So, you know, to be fully transparent. My first year in Canada, you know, I was working a lot of low-paying jobs, you know, I worked at Subways. That was my first job. And then I worked at McDonald's, you know like I'm Filipino. So, you know, I'm starting to fit into the stereotype right. Of, you know, like. My race, you know, kind of working in these fast-food chains, and then there's nothing wrong with that.

You know, like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those types of career. I just knew that I wanted more for myself. So I started paying attention to other immigrants who were popular, successful, all these types of things, you know, they were going to parties. They had cool friends, they had pretty girls around them and I'm like, well, I want to be like that person too.

The whole journey started with self-education. I started. Just Googling online. And, you know, I found a lot of stuff that were, I guess, like pickup related, you know, like a lot of in the seduction space, and back then, those were the only things available. Right. You know, especially, I think when I started my journey, the game was a really popular book and they were, and they were showing up in a search engine.

So I was like, oh, there it is. I found the solution to my problem. So I started consuming a lot of that type of stuff. And then I realized that like, it didn't resonate with me, you know, like just memorizing lines and routines just wasn't, it didn't feel good to me, you know? So my journey also, you know, I started to include some, some spirituality in there, you know, like getting deep into.

In personal development. And I also got involved with other companies who taught this kind of stuff. So at a young age, you know, like 19 20, 21, that's when I became aware of this industry, right. This whole personal development space, men's empowerment, dating advice, social skills, that advice, and, um, yeah, through self-education and getting involved with those companies as an intern, and then later on becoming a coach, that's what catapulted my journey to where I am.

Jonathan Levi: Really cool. So you really did what we call in our super learner methodology, brute force learning. You learn from as many different sources and different possible ways as possible, and started to synthesize, started to test this stuff in your own real-life and see what were.

Myke Macapinlac: I didn't have a choice, man.

You know, I was tired of being that guy, you know, who sits at home on a Friday night watching TV or playing video games. I'm like, I got to fix this issue. Like I was just so tired of being lonely. Like I had to do something about my situation. 

Jonathan Levi: Yeah, I absolutely understand. So talk to me about the results you started getting. I mean, what were some of the first changes that you made and how did they impact you initially?

Myke Macapinlac: It was superficial, you know, like it was more just like, you know, getting dates. Right. You know, like having girlfriends, you know, but then I wanted more because I felt like. The whole seduction space got me out there and started approaching people and meeting people, but it didn't teach me how to have deeper and more vulnerable conversations.

You know, I think when I got more into the spiritual part of my journey, you know, like healing the inner child, so to speak, right. You know, confronting my, my old room. You know, doing something about it and really accepting every part of my being, I feel like that's when my ability to connect with people, both on a romantic and professional and personal level, you know, that's when things took off, you know like now I have really deep friendships with some really good male friends.

I'm in a happy romantic relationship and yeah. You know, build a good professional network with other like-minded people because I'm not afraid to go first. You know, I'm not afraid to be seen anymore. I'm not hiding. And I feel, I just feel very, very transparent, you know, and I think that's really important.

Jonathan Levi: Yeah, absolutely. So Mike, tell us some of the things, you know, and I know this is going to be really, we're going to have to cherry-pick because you and I have both spent so much time trying to learn and study and hack this stuff and learn how to be more comfortable in our own skin. But where do some of the things that people can do right away or can learn in the next few weeks or months to really change the way that they show up in social situations and improve their confidence?

Myke Macapinlac: Absolutely. So the biggest thing that I would recommend to people is to figure out what's important to them first. You know, I think a lot of people just go online and start looking for advice on how to meet people, you know, like dating-related and stuff, but they never really. No, why they're going out to these places.

Right? Like when I started, I spent a lot of time at bars and clubs and at the mall talking to people during the day. Right. But then I never really asked myself why I'm doing this. So the first piece of advice that I would give to people is to figure out what are their core values, what are things that are important to them?

And then the second thing that I would say would be to make a list of events and activities, where those types of people who are into the same things. Hang out. And then the third thing is to just literally like spend more time going to those places because, at the end of the day, mutual interests is the foundation of every great relationship.

It's so much easier to spend time, have conversations with people who are into the same stuff that you are. So if I can give your listeners, I know you're all about, you know, hacks right. And learning things quickly. If I was to start my journey all over again, that's exactly what I would do.

Jonathan Levi: Wow really cool.

Now, one of the things that I got into really was body language and realizing, and I've talked about this on many episodes of the show but realizing that if I learned how to hold my body and Bernay brown talks about this as well, I learned how to hold my body as if I felt comfortable and confident, I would actually make myself feel more comfortable and confident.

Have you played around with that?

Myke Macapinlac: Absolutely. So your mind and body are interconnected. You change one of the other followers and I totally agree. It's so much easier to change your physiology first because you know, like when you're sitting down and you're slumped, right. And you know, you've got a frown on your face.

Like it's hard to be happy when you're in that state. So just, you know, by faking right. And, and adopting the body language of a confident and charismatic person, you know, standing straight, even forcing a smile, you know, Totally going to change your mood and influence the way you interact with others. So I totally agree, body language.

Jonathan Levi: I love that really, really love that. So any other things people should be aware of when it comes to social confidence, misconceptions that you see that are shared out there all the time or other ways that really you want to educate the world, that there are different ways to go about skinning them.

Myke Macapinlac: I would say the most important thing that people should develop is a self-awareness. You know, it makes me sad when I just see Pete, especially younger people these days. Right. And I don't mean to come across like that old guy wagging his fingers, you know, kids these days. But I would say that a lot of people.

In my opinion, spend way too much time on their phone and that's affecting their ability to connect with people. Right. They're so concerned about their social media following and friends that they totally neglect their in-person relationships. So that's number one, I think like, just spend less time with your phone and disconnect from technology every now and then, and have a face-to-face conversation with people, you know, and, and the other thing.

I would say is to spend more time in nature. I think, uh, you know, when you go for a hike when you go for long walks, I think a lot of people avoid that because they're afraid of listening to themselves and confronting the beliefs that they haven't dealt with. Right. So by spending time alone, I think, you know, like really developing that sense of self-awareness.

I think that's a really good place to build relationships with other people because you're building a good relationship with yourself. 

Jonathan Levi: That's really wise really, really wise. I actually want to jump back. I can talk a little bit about pickup because I think it's a super interesting topic. Uh, you know, as exactly as you said when I tried to get into this stuff and learn and really.

Out of the honest desire to have more relationships with women, not specifically sexual relationships. I really tried to dig in and learn these things. And the only things that I found as you said, were books about pickup. And I have to say, so I have a degree in sociology, right? I have to say that a lot of this stuff that I learned from the world of so-called pickup artists was super valuable, super empathic.

A lot of it wasn't by the way, a lot of it was misogynistic and I kind of threw the book out the window. But a lot of it was really valuable stuff. For example, a lot of these pickup artists will talk about asking questions and showing interest, genuinely listening, making eye contact, touching in non-sexual ways.

If you're going to touch someone, right. Like finding ways to, and I guess. I was reading this 10 years ago. So obviously the boundaries of touching have changed quite a bit, but if you're meeting someone in a context and you are speaking with them for a few hours, and there are clear what they call indicators of interest, and this person is whether you're a man and they're a woman or vice versa, this person is showing indications of interest and you are not engaging with them and touching based on clear of course, Clear consensual invitations to touch.

There was a lot of value there. And I think that that whole industry gets such a bad rap because the bad eggs that are about getting women into bed and being unscrupulous. But I don't think you should throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

Myke Macapinlac: I'm curious to hear your take on. Yeah, no, I, I totally agree with everything you said, and I do agree that um, there's some benefits learning those things.

And also I do agree that the whole industry gets a bad reputation. And the reason why is these most people who get into this type of work, they take things literally, right. You know, like when, when they read these lines and routines, they just, they think that like, oh, if I just tell these stories and, you know, tell this girl that I'm talking to, that I have a stripper girlfriend or.

Approach, those group of girls had asked them if they saw the fight outside, you know, like that kind of stuff. It's crazy because you don't like they're saying these things without really understanding the reason why. Right. So yes, it's true. There is value of learning, how-to, you know, flirts and understanding that, um, you know, it's okay to start conversations with strangers and stuff like that.

But at the end of the day, like you have to understand the principles of why these things work. And then you want to ask yourself, how can I make this work for me? Like, for example, you know, and pick up, they talk about, you know, demonstrating high value. Right. So instead of repeating other people's stories, you do interesting things, you know, like go through your week and like, okay, well what can I do this week?

That's cool. And interesting and authentic to me so that when I talk to people, you know, I can just talk about what I did. That was cool and interesting, which is a demonstration of high value. If you are doing cool and interesting things without having to fake it. Like, for example, these days when I meet someone.

And they asked me about what I do. They know I've written four books, I've been a podcaster for three years. I've spoken internationally. Right. You know, I'm not lying about those things. Those are things that I actually did in my life out of personal interests. You know, I've traveled to many different countries, done a lot of interesting experiences and I'm just sharing those with people.

So that's, in my opinion, that's my invitation to people. If they do want to learn these things, right. Learn to principle, understand why they work, and then ask you. How can I turn all these things and make it my own so that I come across authentic? And in a way that's integrity with, you know, while still practicing the principle of why these things work and not just, you know, taking things verbatim, you know what I mean?

Jonathan Levi: I totally, I love that. I really love that. Um, I love that you added that, right? Because the most valuable piece of this whole quote-unquote pick-up game, right. Is inner game, right? Like actually, Become the kind of person. And I think there's such a beautiful, kind of like poetry to this. Joe Polish always talks about engineers, networks, sell people what they want, but give them what they need and what a lot of people reading these books need is to actually create life.

That is attractive both to themselves and to others. And that's, what's going to make them more confident. And that's ultimate, what's going to make you have success with other people, whether or not that's professional, romantic, personal. And so I love that poetry of like come in to learn all these cheesy pickup lines.

But at the end of the day, what you end up doing is picking up some hobbies, improving your confidence, getting into the gym, and doing all these things that genuinely. Make you a more confident and interesting person. And I love that so much.

Myke Macapinlac: I was on a coaching call last week with a student. And, you know, in my program, the first thing we go over obviously is goal setting.

The second one would be reframing, limiting beliefs. And one of the beliefs that he had is that he's going to be alone forever. And then I asked him, I just asked him this question, you know, like, would you want to be friends with a guy like you, you know, and if you're a woman, would you want to date someone like you?

And he was quiet for a few seconds and he realized that. He said no. And I'm like why? And he said that because he doesn't have a lot of things going on for him. And I'm like, okay, well, let's fix that. Right. You know, like what can you do this week that would make you a more attractive and interesting person.

So, you know, over time he started signing up for dance classes. He started actually building friends and a social circle. He started making a list of things that he appreciates about himself. He started thinking of his life, like longer-term, like what do I want my life to look like? You know, like just living more intentionally and for himself, because here's the thing at the end of the day.

Sure. Maybe you can get away with it. Memorizing these lines and techniques and routines, right? And maybe you can fool someone for a short amount of time, but the truth will always come out. Right? You can only fake, you know, like a personality for so long until the true version of you comes out, right? Like I'm not religious, but there's a quote in the Bible that I really like.

And it says for where your treasure is there, your heart will be also, which means that whatever is inside of you is always going to come out no matter what. So instead of faking it. Just become that person become that person that you want to attract. So it becomes a win-win situation and it's a mutual interest from both parties and it don't feel guilty having to, you know, 'cause you're not tricking people.

You're just being who you are. 

Jonathan Levi: Totally. And I would argue that people who do have success because of the, you know, the tactics and the pickup lines, which by the way, there's, again, even in just the tactics piece, there's good stuff I learned about. I peaked my interest, I guess I should say, in body language, from the world of pickup and learning, like, wait a minute.

When I walk up to a woman and I, my shoulders are square. And I talked to her, that's very intimidating. It makes a woman feel unsafe. But what I can do is angle my body in such a way that I don't seem like I'm trying to dominate her physical space. That's a valuable thing for young men to know, but I guess where I was going with that was.

That even if the techniques alone do work, they work because you become confident knowing the techniques, you become confident. Knowing if I go into the social situation, I'm going to know how to hold my body. And that confidence is. Gives you the improved results.

Myke Macapinlac: I agree. And then the other thing that I would say another important thing that I learned from this whole thing is that, uh, you know, like being empathetic, you know, like when you understand how women think and when you understand attraction and when you understand, you know, social value, how to build a social circle, number one, you don't take things personally, right?

Number two, you feel disappointed less than in. That's one of the biggest reasons why most people quit, they get disappointed because they have mismanaged expectations, right? And when you understand the playing field, when you understand this is how you make friends, this is how you attract a romantic interest.

This is what a confident person looks like. You start to manage your expectations so that, you know, when things get tough, which will inevitably happen, you don't quit because you understand it like, oh, this is just how things work. And you know, it does take time and so-and-so, and whatsoever.

Jonathan Levi: Totally totally.

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Just visit foursigmatic.com/superhuman today. All right. Back to the show.

So you mentioned coaching clients. Tell me about some of the other stuff you work with clients on. Is it strictly you're focusing on social confidence or share a little bit more about.

Myke Macapinlac: Yeah. So the majority of guys that I work with are, you know, they're shy guys who are technically skilled.

So the majority of them work as engineers, programmers, and developers, which is it's funny because I didn't really mean to attract those people. But as I share my story and my experience being a shy immigrant. Coming from the Philippines and growing up in Saudi Arabia, moving to Canada and in, you know, having this belief of going to school, getting good grades, getting a good job as a ticket to a fulfilling life.

And then later on working as a structural designer for an engineering company, as I share my authentic story, because it's true. That's what happened. I started to attract more of those people and I didn't realize how big that demographic was. Right. So it's interesting because a lot of them share the same background as me at a young age.

They were interested in, you know, technology or video games. They grew up in a small town, which didn't really have a lot of people. And number three, again, they grew up with that belief that, you know, acquiring technical skills, you know, becoming successful academically is your golden ticket to life.

Right. And that's why. Didn't have a lot of experience growing up, you know, they'd traded parties for libraries, right? They didn't participate in any social group back in school because they were too busy studying because you know, they're really holding onto this belief that by the time I graduate, I get that high paying job, then everything else will just take care of itself.

But that's crazy. Right. It's like working out. If you don't go to the gym. You're going to atrophy, right. You know, you lose what you don't use. So these people up until 25, 27, 28, they have very little awareness of how to connect with people because they've been so focused on acquiring technical skills that they neglect their soft skills.

So what I do. As their coach is I bridge the gap. Right. You know, so in my program has six phases. The first one is all about mindset. So again, setting goals, determining your core values. Cause like what I said, right. It's so much easier to spend time with people who like the same things as you and in the second thing would be, you know, Uh, having a, a better self image.

A lot of guys who have taken the program. Oh my goodness. They have the nastiest self-talk ever like, you should see the beliefs. Aw man. Like they beat themselves up unnecessarily. So, you know, helping them change the way. They see themselves right through, you know, gratitude coming up with things they like about themselves and all that stuff.

And then the third thing would be first impression. You and I both know that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. So I give them an online image, a make-over, so their style represents their personality. Again, we talk about body language, vocal, tonality, and then after that we manage their anxiety when they're approaching people.

And then I teach them basic conversation skills. How do you start conversations? How do you make small. How do you answer some of the most common questions, right? Like what do you do for work? What do you do for fun? Tell me where you came from. You'd be surprised. Most guys are just like, I'm an engineer. I came from, you know, China, right?

I do hiking for fun. They just give one word answers. They're making it very difficult for people to talk to them simply because they don't understand what makes a good story. And then lastly, I helped them design a social. That's congruent to their core value. So I help them find these events and activities so that they can go, they can socialize and it's easy.

It's simple, like men, I hated going to bars and clubs, but I thought that was my only option to go out and meet people. I just didn't know any better. Right. So, so knowing what I know now, you know, having experience in, you know, the dark side, so to speak and having my own personal experience, I've designed a program that I personally wish I had when I started.

Jonathan Levi: Wow. I love that. I really love that. And I can imagine that accountability is such an important part of what you do, right? Because we all know, I know that I should be going to more social events and doing more fun and adventurous stuff to have a more fulfilling life. But believe it or not, it's actually my business coach who holds me accountable and is the reason why I have paintballing on the calendar right now.

I have indoor skydiving on the calendar, watermark. I mean, someone who looks at my calendar must think I'm like a six-year-old kid on summer break. But I have to be accountable to someone cause otherwise it's so easy to let myself down.

Myke Macapinlac: Exactly. Exactly. And it's a big thing, right? Like, you know, a lot of people who have taken the program, they've read every book, you know, they've watched the videos on YouTube, they've listened to the podcast, but the thing is information doesn't cause transformation.

And then the other thing too, is that people have individual situations, you know, they've got their own thing that's going on for them. So they need someone to give them more tailored and specific feedback based on what they're going through. You know, sometimes. You can hear the same lesson over and over again.

But if it's delivered in a way that doesn't make sense, you're not going to hear it. But if it's delivered in a manner that resonates with you, then that's when you have that aha moment. And you know, you can't, I know what you know, right? Like you can't unring a bell once, you know, something, your awareness expands, therefore your emotions change and your action changes too.

And that's the, in my opinion, that's the importance of having a coach having that specific feedback. You can't see, but someone who's from the outside can give you an unbiased feedback because you know, like they're invested in your success. Right. Cause you're paying.

Jonathan Levi: I love that. And I love your quote there.

Information is what creates transformation, because right now in the last week, and obviously, you know, we're recording this in August, but we launched our preliminary pilot for our coaching program. And it's because of that. It's because I know it's not the information alone in our super learner programs, that's going to create the transformation.

People need that accountability. So hopefully by the time this episode airs, people will be able to actually hire a super learner coach on our website.

Myke Macapinlac: Absolutely. That's super important.

Jonathan Levi: Really cool. Now, Mike, I have a sneaking suspicion that someone like yourself like myself, who's spent so much time trying to figure it out, this one area of life and learn as much as they can and improve as much as they can about it.

I have a feeling that you've also done that in a lot of other areas and that you've really paid a lot of attention to, you know, improving yourself. So tell me, what are some of your big areas of personal growth that you've really invested the time and energy?

Myke Macapinlac: That's awesome. So what I love about that question, just to, you know, kind of preface my response, I received the questions you were going to ask me ahead of time.

And there was one question there that I particularly love. And you said that, you know, like when you're learning something new, like what do you do? How do you learn? Right. So I'm going to, that's how I'm going to answer your question. So my first journey to personal development, wasn't actually socializing.

It's my. Like what I mentioned earlier on during the call, I was 60 pounds overweight, you know, I used to be 200 pounds. That's five, five. So my first journey to self-development was getting in shape. Right. And everything else that I've done, every new task, you know, every new area of my life that I want to improve.

I always go back to fitness because that's one area in my life that I've achieved, you know, pretty good results. So I always ask like, You know, for example, getting in shape, like, first of all, you have to understand that there's parts of it. There's fitness and nutrition now. You're like, okay, well what's involved here.

So macros, right? Carbs, fat protein, you know, your daily caloric intake, you know, measuring your calories and stuff, measuring your food intake. And then there's the weight training, right? Learning how to squat, learning, how to bench learning, how to deadlift and then. Creating a plan that's sustainable and you track things every week.

You know, you make adjustments, you make progress and you become patient and you have to be patient because results don't come immediately, right. In fitness. And I've implemented that same mindset and that same strategy in business and relationships. You know, for example, when I was learning social skills, I asked.

What are the skills that I need to learn? Well, there's inner game there's conversation. There is approaching there's body language there's style. There's like building a social circle. There's attracting romantic parts. Cool. Now I started making a list. I'm like, okay, what are the things involved in, in all these tasks?

And then I just systematically learn these things because in my opinion, the biggest reason why most people quit is overwhelmed. They're doing too many things at once, or they're doing something in the wrong sequence, right? So your ability to, to be able to just have a clear mind, look at your situation from a bird's, uh, point of view, right?

And like, look at things as a whole and, and be able to like systematically learn one skill at a time, in my opinion. Is the recipe for success in every area of your life. 

Jonathan Levi: I love that. I think that's so incredibly valuable. What is your superhuman daily routine look like? Or what are some of the things you did to feel super human?

Myke Macapinlac: Oh man. So I've got, I've got a mindfulness practice. I start my day with just meditation. And then, um, I actually, so I've been working for myself for seven years. So to me, like environment is huge, you know? Cause I feel like a lot of people are trying to, you know, oh, use their willpower, but in my opinion, it's so much easier to just change your environment, to make the right habits more.

Consistent. So for me, like I treat my business like a job, right? Like I leave my house at a specific time. I, you know, hang out at a coffee shop or at a coworking space. And then the first thing that I do is I do my gratitude. You know, I think of things that are going well in my life. And then I put down my goals and in my top I limit my tasks to only three things.

Cause I think a lot of, a lot of people try to put 20 things on their task and they don't get it done. So to me, like I always cultivate that winning feeling. Right. You know, I always set myself up for success by managing my expectations and playing games that I can win because it's that winning feeling in my opinion.

That's going to keep you going and you, and I both know everything worthwhile takes time. Right. You know, most people quit when they're about to experience success because they're disappointed they have that negative feeling and it's because they don't know how to manage their, their tasks and their expectations.

So, yeah, limiting my tasks, only three things. And in doing that before 11, then hitting the gym, having my first meal and then doing some more business stuff afterwards. And then after five, it's all play. You know, I hang out with a friend, you know, we go for drinks. I see my girlfriend or I play the guitar.

I just, I always include play in my day-to-day schedule. Cause I, uh, I feel like all my great ideas come when I'm not thinking about it. And I'm involved in another task. Have you ever experienced before.

Jonathan Levi: Oh, it's so true. And I actually watched a webinar today that we're going to be delivering to our audience.

I watched a recorded version of it to quality control, and actually there's a real, psychological reason behind why that happens and a neurological reason. So super interesting.

Myke Macapinlac: Do you mind sharing? I actually want to know. 

Jonathan Levi: Yeah, he didn't get too, too much into the mechanics of it, but it essentially is that when your brain is more fatigued, it's actually more creative and creativity is what brings those things to surface.

And generally, as you said, When you're fatigued, that's when you allow yourself to go and play guitar and you know, very few people start their day with the place. So it's kind of coincidental, but it's, it's generally like when we're giving ourselves the break is when the creative InLight inset comes.

Myke Macapinlac: Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah. And I also, I have a spiritual practice, which is, you know, kind of woo for a lot of people. But to me, like I just, my priority every day is to make sure that I'm focusing on what I want and my goals. And I always make sure that I feel good and I only make decisions when I feel good, because if I, as soon as I feel bad or like I have a negative feeling, I take a break, I do something different.

Yeah. You know, just, just elevates my mood and then I go back to work. I never pushed through when I'm feeling negative. I feel like that thing right there has served me really well, a really

Jonathan Levi: wise, really, really wise. So, Mike, I know we're pretty soon coming up on time here. I do want to ask you for some homework that we could give the audience that they could try out this week really to implement some of the things that they've learned in this.

Myke Macapinlac: Sure. So conversation is a big thing that people struggle with. So just to kind of explain my point here, I always ask my students, if they've ever experienced writing an exam that they didn't study for. And of course they all say yes. And I asked them like, how did it make them feel? And they, they say like, oh, I felt anxious.

I felt super nervous. You know, like I felt really unsettled. Then I asked them if they've ever written. That they did study for it. And obviously they say yes and ask them how they feel. And they say they feel confident. They feel prepared. They feel like they're ready to take on that task. Right. And I tell them that most people who struggle socially approach conversation, like the first situation they go out and they have no idea.

They've never prepared how to answer some of the most common questions. Right? So the homework for you guys, if you want to improve your conversation skills today, identify the social situation that you have on a weekly basis. And then just ask yourself, what are some of the most commonly asked questions?

That occurred during these situations. And what are topics that get talked about here all the time and your homework is to just prepare those stories in advance, right? And also when you're coming up with your stories, I recommend you write them down. You want to include a lot of sensory details. So when you're telling a story, what did you see.

Well, how did you feel? You know, how did it smell if it's relevant? How did it taste if it's relevant, you know, what did you hear? Stuff like that. So when you include sensory details in your story, it makes your story more engaging instead of just, you know, being logical and answering in like one-word answers.

So by including more details in your story, a it makes your story more exciting to listen to number two, it's easier for people to relate to you. Right. So don't just give one word answers, you know, be descriptive, explain things in a way that people can respond to much easier. So that's, that's a quick hack that people can implement with their conversation.

Just prepare your stories ahead of time like that a lot.

Jonathan Levi:  Tell me about some of the most impactful books you've ever read that have really changed your life. I know you've done a lot of reading on this topic.

Myke Macapinlac: Sure. So with regards to social skills, I would say the most impactful book that I've read would be, you know, obviously how to win friends and influence people.

That's one, number two would be the game, right. You know, that's the book that I think more than anything gave me. That this is possible that I can do something different. Uh, the third one would be charisma myth. I think that's a great book too, for people to dive into, but in my opinion, what's really made a difference for me is having a spiritual practice.

So ask, and it is given by Esther and Jerry Hicks because, um, that just really, because at the end of the day, The relationship that you have with yourself is what determines the relationship you have with other people, by knowing how to have a good relationship with yourself. And that starts with your self dialogue.

You know, like when you start to be more compassionate towards yourself, you don't beat yourself up. You look for good things about you. Like if you just do that, that will naturally improve the way you interact with other people.

Jonathan Levi: I love that. I really love that was the best hundred bucks you've ever seen.

Myke Macapinlac: The best hundred bucks I ever spent would be on audiobooks. So I lived downtown in my city and, you know, I travel quite a bit and, uh, you know, I do a lot of walking and I feel like, you know, when I'm just walking, I like to listen to audiobooks. And I feel like, wow, what a way to maximize my dead time.

You know, just like, as I'm, you know, cleaning the house, walking, you know, I can listen to an audiobook. I can enrich my mind and I can learn something new without having to allocate. Extra time throughout my day. You know, I'm just like using my dead time to educate myself. So audiobooks would be, I say the best a hundred dollars I've ever spent.

Jonathan Levi: A really good one. Mike. I know we've pretty much come up on time here. So I do want to ask how can people reach out to you learn more about all the amazing stuff here.

Myke Macapinlac: Absolutely. So just go to my website, socialconfidencemastery.com, Social Confidence Mastery on your favorite podcasting platform, Social Confidence Mastery on Instagram and Social Confidence Mastery on YouTube as well.

Jonathan Levi: Awesome. And if people want those links easily at their fingertips, they can go to superhuman.blog and find them there. Mike, thank you so much for coming on the show before I let you go, though, I do want to ask if people take away one big message from this episode and they carry it with them for the rest of their lives, what would you hope for that to be?

Myke Macapinlac: It's close for my favorite documentary. It's called the minimalism and they said to love people and use things because the opposite never works.

Jonathan Levi: I love that. Love that. thank you so much for coming on the show, man. It was a blast chatting with you.

Myke Macapinlac:  Thank you so much, man. You're such a good host. You asked really good questions.

What a delight to have this conversation with you. 

Jonathan Levi: I appreciate it. Okay, well, let's keep in touch and we'll do it again soon.

Myke Macapinlac: Sounds good.

Closing: Thanks for tuning into the award-winning Superhuman Academy Podcast. For more great skills and strategies or for links to any of the resources mentioned in this episode, visit superhuman.blog while you're at it please take a moment to share this episode with a friend and leave us a review on iTunes. We'll see you next week.