How to Discover Your True Self & Radiate Positivity with Motivational Coach Niurka
Greetings, superfriends, and welcome to today’s show!
Today, we are joined by an author, educator, public speaker, and expert on influence known as Niurka.
For over 15 years, Niurka has been helping people improve their communications and influence skills. She was the top trainer for the legendary Tony Robbins, and has since launched her own business, where she offers workshops to help people transform and grow. She’s also the author of “Supreme Influence: Change Your Life With the Power of the Language You Use.”
In this episode, we talk about motivation, transformation, and how to neutralize the limitations that are keeping each of us from discovering our true greatness.
It’s a bit of a more soft and spiritual episode than we’ve done in the past, but I’m sure you’ll take away some great lessons, if not a hefty dose of inspiration and energy.
As always, let me know what you think on twitter by sending a tweet to @gosuperhuman!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Who is Niurka, what exactly does she do, and how does she do it?
- What does it mean to be superhuman, according to Niurka?
- Niurka’s time spent traveling with the legendary Tony Robbins
- Some stories of personal transformation that Niurka has witnessed
- What are the Niurka “supreme lifestyle practices?”
- What are the morning and evening habits that Niurka feels everyone should adopt?
- What does it mean to “observe” one’s thoughts – and why is it powerful?
- What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP, and how can it be used for good (or evil)?
- How can we neutralize and transform our own limiting beliefs?
- What is the most common mistake people make when trying to influence others?
- Thoughts on communication, congruency, and understanding between people
- What is “complex equivalence” and why is it such a big deal?
- What makes a person into a leader? (the answer might surprise you!)
- What can you do today to better know yourself?
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Niurka’s Goddess Garden Retreat
- Tony Robbins and his many, many bestselling books
- Our previous episode with Gretchen Rubin
- Eckhart Tolle and his books, especially A New Earth and The Power of Now
- Niurka’s Audio CD’s
- The Rockefeller Habits by Verne Harnish
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- The Game by Neil Strauss
- Supreme Influence in Action by Niurka
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- A free video from Niurka
- Niurka’s Facebook
- Niurka’s Website
Favorite Quotes from Niurka:
Introduction: Welcome to the Becoming SuperHuman Podcast. Where we interview extraordinary people to bring you the skills and strategies to overcome the impossible. And now here's your host, Jonathan Levi.
Jonathan Levi: This episode is brought to you by the Become A SuperLearner MasterClass. I've been telling you guys about the Masterclass for a few weeks now. So I'm actually just going to take a step back and let a good friend of mine, tell you guys about his opinion on the Masterclass.
Nelson Dellis: I am Nelson Dellis, 4x USA Memory Champion, and a huge fan of the SuperLearner MasterClass. You know, when I started memory techniques years ago, you know, I wish that I have had all the resources that are available on this course. Jonathan does a great job teaching it, and it's a fantastic course and I highly uh, recommend it. It'll take you just as far as I am without as much time that I have to put in. So enjoy it, get into it and, uh, keep your memory active.
Jonathan Levi: To learn more, to sign up for a free trial with no credit card required, or to redeem an exclusive discount for podcast listeners only, please visit jle.vi/learn or visit becomeasuperlearner.com.
Greeting, SuperFriends, and welcome to today's show. You guys today, we are joined by an author, educator and public speaker, and an expert on influence for over 15 years. My guest today has been helping people improve their communications and influence skills, but also discovering their passion discovering who they are and what they should be doing in life and on this planet, which I think is a wonderful, wonderful calling to pursue.
You guys, she was the top trainer for the legendary Tony Robbins. And if you haven't heard of Tony Robbins, I don't even know where to begin telling you who he is and what he does, but since she has branched out into her own business, she's been offering workshops that help people transform and grow. She's also the author of “Supreme Influence: Change Your Life With the Power of the Language You Use.” And she's an expert in something called NLP or neuro-linguistic programming.
So in this episode, we are going to talk about the different ways that you can become SuperHuman in your mission and in your passion, different ways that you can overcome limitations.
As you guys heard in the beginning of the show, we care about the skills and strategies to overcome the impossible. And a lot of what you might think is impossible for you. Is that way because of limiting beliefs? So to help us overcome some of these beliefs and just to kick more ass, I am pleased to introduce Niurka.
Niurka, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here with us today.
Niurka: I'm excited to be here with you.
Jonathan Levi: Yeah. So I understand that you just completed a pretty epic training in San Diego. Tell us a little bit about that and figure we can learn a little bit about what you do and how it is that you've become such an expert by virtue of that more recent example.
Niurka: Absolutely. Actually, I do lead a lot of trainings. This one is more of an experience. It's my three-day spiritual retreat, especially for women it's called the Goddess Garden. And it is a journey of alchemy. Alchemy being transforming, any lead that the women have either physically or emotionally or metaphorically in their life, into gold, being the embodiment of each one's true potential.
And in this experience, we had just beautiful, amazing women come from all over the world. And, uh, we worked with archetypes to have each woman and embody the full essence of who we are. In our businesses, and in our relationships and with sisterhood and in all of our creations,
Jonathan Levi: I love that. I have to admit Niurka, I'm a pretty big sucker for a very strong, confident woman who's, you know, successful in her career and successful in her life.
It's kind of my soft spot. So let me ask, how do you go about doing that?
Niurka: I don't know if you go about doing it as much as you go about being it. So it's really coming into an awakening of who you are. And I mean, to me, that's what it really means to be SuperHuman. It's, to know thyself and so many times people get caught up in a box of thinking that they are a particular way.
I hear it so many times where someone would say, well, that's just the way I am, but who we are, cannot be contained by any one identity. You know, who we are, has infinity within us. So this experience guides women to absolutely tune into, you know, their courage, their gifts, but also their feminine essence, their power in business, their deeper relationships with other women, with men, and with our world.
Jonathan Levi: It's fantastic. And it sounds like there's a wonderful element of this kind of ego dissociation that you're not your job and you're not your childhood problems and you're not any of that stuff. You're much, much more. And those are kind of details, which I think was one of the largest lessons that I learned in my adult life about myself.
Niurka: Yeah, definitely being able to step outside the story and perceive it from an expanded state of awareness brings healing. Matter of fact, one of the exercises that we bring into this experience, as we guide women, to look at the story of their life and elevate it into the realm of myth. And one of the things that we end up finding is how each woman's story is mirrored in the field, you know, the traumas and the experiences that we've all had.
So. It's definitely very powerful to dissociate from that and see it from an expanded point of view.
Jonathan Levi: Absolutely. So give us a bit of background about yourself. I know you started out working with Tony Robbins, his company, but trace a little bit your path and how you came to do what you do today.
Niurka: Sure. It started with some frustration I would say is what launched my class and a knowingness that, who I was, was destined for greater things than what was showing up in my life in the early years.
I mean, I was really frustrated and by the time I was 15, I embarked on a quest for freedom and for enlightenment, except I used to call it running away from home back then. Knowing that there was something greater for me to create, but really not having mentors or a path. And by the time I was 19, I had the great fortune of traveling with Tony Robbins.
And there were a few steps along the way to get there. But, uh, by the time I began working with him, I lived in 16 different cities over a five-year period. And that was a profound initiation into beginning to realize the power that not only I have inside of me, but that each one of us has to transform our circumstances and to create life by design.
And that's what I saw. I witnessed people transforming their lives in a short period of time and instantly it just ignited. My soul and my passion. And I knew that my gift was in that area to help people break through blocks or limitations and to create from an authentic place of their own gift because each person has a gift that no one else in the universe has.
And when they're living the full embodiment of that, our whole world elevates and it's the juiciest most fun experience. So that was the opening for me, where I got a taste. And then I knew that this is why I'm here.
Jonathan Levi: I love that. So we had Gretchen Rubin on the show and she said something that's really stuck with me, which is that everybody needs a guru or everybody has their guru.
And my guru, one of my many gurus, I guess, is Eckhart Tolle. And this realization that once you get in line with your life's purpose, Everything just falls into place. And suddenly you're not a fish swimming upstream. You know, I just sensed that, that you're someone who has seen that happen in so many people's lives.
Do you have a particular story that's really, really touched you in your career that someone has come to a training or an event or a workshop and has just come with so much lead and walked away with so much gold?
Niurka: Oh my goodness. I have so many stories like that.
Jonathan Levi: I love it. Let's have one.
Niurka: Absolutely. I just came through witnessing story after story, in our women's experience in San Diego over the weekend. And you know, one of the beautiful goddesses who was sitting right next to me, she's someone who I met years ago. She walked into the course feeling really just conflicted with her path, navigating fertility issues and navigating challenges in her business, where she felt. That she was really living two lives.
She felt that she had this real estate career and that was what she was doing professionally. But deep down, she was really this artistic creative soul who actually was a fire performer and a master. And so she was having difficulty integrating these multidimensional aspects of who she was and feeling very conflicted in that, and through the work that she's done with us, she was able to bring her joy.
Her creativity into her business in a way that allowed them to merge and then actually rise from that. Where last year she's become so connected with our community, that she was on the road, 45 days out of the year in service to our work. And simultaneously her business grew to such a degree that she became the number five-person within her office out of 300 agents was breaking records. And the most beautiful thing is it was while doing what she loved and having more free time.
Jonathan Levi: So she reconnected to that hobby. And at the same time that allowed her business and professional and family life to thrive.
Niurka: To completely thrive from a soulful place. I mean, I can give you examples. I have one gentleman recently who I spoke at his yearly event. He asked me to be the keynote speaker because he listened to one of my CDs that interestingly enough, set on his desk, like a paperweight. He doesn't even remember how he got it. And then one day he starts commuting and he starts listening to these.
CD that brings them into a heightened state of awareness about how he's communicating, not only to other people but how he's communicating with himself. And he started listening to just that one CD over and over again, and it shifted. The way in which he spoke and it shifted that little voice inside his head.
And he said within 90 days, his opportunity, the pipeline of his business grew by $50 million in 90 days. And he said, Niurka. It was a result of the questions that I was asking of the statements that I was making. So, there's stories that I can share with you that lead to financial and measurable results.
And then there's the deep stories that lead to, you know, fulfillment. I just had one lady who sat in the back of the room, just experience a lot of trauma in her early years. She was in the back kind of hiding a little bit and you could sense it in her physiology. And she went through the experiences and it was like, she broke out of her shell and it was this shining light.
And now she's going around and she's become one of the most loving figures in our community where she's coming with such abundance and graciousness. And she's giving, coming from a place of total giving rather than what am I not getting in my life.
Jonathan Levi: I love it. You know, I just thought of a question as you were speaking.
So I'm thinking a lot lately about habits and, you know, there's all these wonderful books that so many millions of people have read from the Rockefeller Habits to the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. I'm wondering if there were a book called the Niurka habits, what would some of those habits be nailing down?
You know, for example, you know, wake up every morning, write in your gratitude journal or something like that. What would be some of the habits that these individuals learn from you that empower them to be so much more full of life?
Niurka: Absolutely. The Niurka lifestyle practices, the Supreme lifestyle. To me, it's all about lifestyle.
It's how are you living your life day today? So for example, the evening to me is very important. You know, even if you look at the original transliterations of the book of Genesis, the day begins in the evening. And a lot of times people wait until the morning to start setting up their day. And, you know, I teach the way that you end your day.
Sets the stage for what's going to happen that following day, especially because while you're sleeping, your consciousness is integrating based on what you've been feeling it that night before. So really coming into a place of stillness is important to me before I go to bed coming into that space of meditation and that space between the notes, if you will, of thoughts coming into that gap of stillness.
And reading something that is continually reading multiple books. So reading something that is of deep soulful attunement is something that I do before I go to bed and then waking up in the morning. And again, having that still meditation just pausing before you enter into the busyness of the day. I love my quiet mornings.
They're treasured for me. I love it. Yeah. And there's so many other things that are lifestyle practices, like one lifestyle practice is that I'm mindful of how I think and what I speak. So, you know, I observe my thoughts throughout the day. That's just a habit. It's just a practice. If something's coming up.
I look at that from an observer point of view, whether it's, you know, if I have a moment where I go, okay, Here's a certain challenge. Let's say, for example, that I'm navigating in business. I'll look at that. I'll observe my thoughts around that. And then I'll become clear with my intention. You know, what is it that's most important right now?
What is it that I'd like to bring into existence here? I have a continual elevated inquiry with myself in the presence of whatever shows up in my business.
Jonathan Levi: Mm, I love that. You know, we have so many extraordinary SuperHumans on the show and I just love, and I love to point out to my audience that the secrets to success and happiness, like everyone who's figured it out.
It's a lot of the same stuff. It's meditation, it's reading books, it's gratitude. And, and I think no matter which direction you come at it from, and which kind of messengers speaks to you, whether it's, you know, Deepak Chopra or Tony Robbins, Or Niurka or anyone, you know, that message is out there and it's, it's tried and true.
Right. And there's an N equals many kinds of source of information that shows that look, this stuff works. You know, being grateful, being mindful works.
Niurka: Absolutely bringing your unique essence into it. That's it? I mean, if you were going to call it a practice because there's meditation and there's gratitude practices, and ultimately this is all coming from a place of love and allowing love and harmony to flow through all of your relationships and all of your creations.
Then I would say it's how do you bring your gift into the world? And have that be your habit practice to bring your gift into the world in a way that creates value in the creates beauty and that creates prosperity. And that contributes towards bringing even more possibility into people's lives. That's what I would be most inspired to have
everyone bring and to bring it at a level of excellence.
That's something that I would say is a habit. If you will, since I was at a very young age, is how do you create things and put your heart, mind, and soul into it? Or it's not just some thing that you created. It's the absolute greatest manifestation of your infinite nature.
Jonathan Levi: I love it. And I love the way that you put it with so much energy.
You know, I want to ask you, I saw that you also, a lot of what you teach or a part of what you teach is NLP or neuro-linguistic programming. And I was super interested because I know, you know, I have to admit little vulnerability on my side. I know about NLP because. I read, you know, Neil Strauss, his book, the game, and they're talking about how people can use this stuff for good or for bad, but it's a very powerful technique.
And I think, especially in the way that we speak with others and completely changing the way that others perceive us and the way that we perceive ourselves. So I wanted to get your take. You know, as someone who's not in the pickup community, but rather in the communication skills, life skills community.
Tell us a little bit about your viewpoints on NLP. Explain maybe a little bit to our audience, what it is and how it works and why it is important,.
Absolutely. When I teach in LP, I put the word evolve in front of it. I call that evolved in LP and the reason why I call it that is because. When I lead it, it's guided with the wisdom of the heart and the wisdom of love and the wisdom that at the most fundamental level, we're all connected here and that what you give to another is something that flows through you.
So you're really giving it to yourself. So NLP traditionally is the study of human excellence. It creates models for human excellence, that someone, for example, if someone felt stuck, they could utilize these models to transcend from a problem state into a possibility state and LP also studies the underlying structure or the hidden determinants of human behavior.
In other words, what makes people do what they do? How can it be that you could have one person in a certain environment who's struggling and another person in a similar environment who can transcend that struggle and produce consistent outstanding results? What's the difference that makes the difference and then offers techniques to bridge the gap.
Now, NLP, you can think of it as a tool, and just like any tool a tool can be used for good or for something that isn't based on the consciousness of the one that's wielding that tool. So if you think about a hammer, you could use a hammer to build a house. You could use a hammer to build a school. You can use a hammer to build a prison, or you could use a hammer to build a temple.
So what is built, you know, through the virtue of that hammer, if you will, is based on the consciousness of the one who wields it. That's why it's so essential to come into an understanding of the most essential question, which is who are you? Who are you? Who are you at a soul level? Because as we come to the understanding of that question and answer that question, then we come to realize that we can only use any powerful tool from a state of love, because anything less than that, we'll just bring disconnect and suffering to all people involved.
I see. So can you give us an example full of an NLP technique that someone might practice either with themselves or with someone that they care about in their lives in a positive way? How could someone actually practically use that tool for good?
Niurka: I could give you many. So for example, I teach a five-day course called Supreme Influence In Action. And I teach it twice a year. And one of the techniques that I guide there is how to transform a limiting beliefs. And we transform these limiting beliefs, not by talking about them in a lot of times, you can go to therapy and talk about your problem, and there can be some resolution with that.
Sometimes it's good to just air something out that's been buried, but if you keep talking about a problem without a strategy to transcend it, you could actually really crystallize that problem because we speak things into existence and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So this particular technique, for example, Doesn't focus on the content of a belief or a limiting belief.
It focuses on how is that belief stored? So let's say somebody has a limiting belief. I mean, give me an example of a limiting belief and I'll give an example of how to use NLP to transform it.
Jonathan Levi: I'm not entrepreneurial. I don't have the skills or the risk-taking behavior to start a business.
Niurka: Okay. There you go.
So if somebody has that belief. Then that's showing up in their day-to-day life. Whether they're consciously aware of it or not. Well, that belief has structured. Okay. And what does that mean? That as they think about that belief, usually unconsciously, that belief has pictures, sounds feelings. There's a structure to that belief.
So what I do in this process is I will elicit. The structure of that limiting belief, how are they storing it at the subconscious level? And then we can find a belief. This is kind of an advanced one, Jonathan, but I know you're ready for it because you're you, that your listeners are too. We can elicit the structure of a belief that used to be true, but no longer is.
So everybody in life has a certain belief that for them, it used to be true. It used to grip them, but it's not true anymore. Its just something from the past. So I'll ask my audiences. What's a belief that used to be true, but isn't and someone might say, well, you know, I used to believe in Santa Claus or whatever.
Well, doesn't it make sense that a belief that used to be true, but it's not true anymore? It has a different structure at the level of consciousness than a limiting belief that actually grips somebody and takes them out of their power. So what would happen if we took an existing limiting belief and actually moved it?
Into the structure of a belief that used to be true, but is no longer true?
Jonathan Levi: Well, I, you know, as you say that that's digging up some stuff for me. And like I said, you know, the first time I read The Power of Now and New Earth. Essentially, it broke me to be completely honest with you. And it was exactly that because it was taking these things that I believed for 20 plus years.
And all of a sudden it's like, Oh my God, Santa doesn't exist. Or in this case, Oh my God, I am not my career and my witty humor and my intelligence, none of those things actually are who I am. And it, you know, it broke me but then from there. Now, I look at it as, yeah. I used to believe that, you know, you can laugh and smile.
I used to believe in Santa Claus.
Niurka: Exactly. And the level of freedom that comes with that and the possibility. That comes with that. It is infinite. And the beautiful thing about the way that we guide it in my courses is that each individual leaves not only with our own transformation, but they leave with a specific tool that they can then turn around and be able to bring into space to support others who are in that same conversation.
So it, it gives them practical proven techniques. And I'll just real quick, I'll share with you another example. Like if somebody has an experience that shows up in their life, that triggers a disempowering sequence of events, let's say that. There's a certain person that calls you or a specific thing that happens or something that goes on in your day that triggers you or somebody that can push your buttons.
And then a sequence of events happens. These techniques give you a way to literally catch yourself and create a new possibility rather than just going down that same old pattern, which from a neurological perspective, it gives you tools to stop going down that same neuron pathway in the brain and quite literally create a new neuro pathway, which leads to new actions and ultimately new results.
Jonathan Levi: Mm, so it almost touches back on the same element of habit really.
Niurka: It does. I mean, what are habits? I mean, habits definitely have neuropathways it's something that you do continuously over a period of time, and then this neuropathway is created. So even though in the midst of infinite possibilities, a person continues to go down that same trajectory.
So yes, these tools allow you to quite literally dissolve habits more rapidly than I've ever seen them dissolve with other tools. And I don't just teach, like I said, straight and LP, I'm bringing a lot of different modalities. My studies and the research that I've done is pretty vast. So I bring in different aspects of meditation and yoga and timeline therapy and energy work, and a number of different modalities to create the greatest result. Because when I look at an individual, I look holistically, I mean, we're mind, body, spirit, where all of these aspects integrated into who we are. So it's not just about approaching it mentally.
One of the beautiful experiences that unfolds in our courses is there such a vibration of complete unconditional love that it opens people up to release things that they didn't feel safe releasing before?
Jonathan Levi: Um, incredible. You know, as you were speaking, I was thinking about the habits and yeah. I recently read Charles Duhigg's book, The Power of Habit.
He spends so much time in the book talking about habits and how they're these all-powerful things in the brain and how even people who've had severe brain damage to the point where they can't learn anything new. You know, they completely forget things after minutes. Somehow they're able to develop habits or keep habits.
Even after they've forgotten their own names. And so if you have this habit, I guess what I'm realizing, if you have this habit of limiting belief, that's way more powerful than your spirit or your energy or anything like that, you have to change the habit first and foremost, I think.
Niurka: Well, I wouldn't say that your habit is more powerful than your spirit
Jonathan Levi: I did an exaggeration.
Niurka: Yeah, but I would definitely say that the habit takes over to where the person becomes disconnected from their spirit and unable to tap into the source of their very existence. So what it does is it clouds them. It's like a big cloud that's hovering over that creates this sense of separation and that's where pain comes in or the inability to manifest or achieve or create results that bring you joy and fulfillment because it's not such a function of, okay, I need to create these results.
It's a function of I'm tapped into who I am, and there's no blocks to that. And I'm creating from this and spirited place.
Jonathan Levi: And I think you can feel that. When other people experienced that they can feel it. And when you meet someone who's just completely secure and what their role is on this planet, you know, you feel it.
Niurka: Totally they're secure and who they are and what their role is. And they're creating from that soulful place. They're not just creating because, Oh, they're trying to hit that mark and listen, I'm very goal-oriented also. That's important to me and it has, but when that becomes the focal point, as opposed to, you know who I am and what I'm bringing to the world, it's a very different manifestation.
Jonathan Levi: Absolutely. I wanted to ask, what do you think is the most common mistake that people are making when it comes to communication and influencing others, you know, on that note of how do we create an impact with others? How do we make that impression with others and reflect security and confidence?
Niurka: Huh? The most common mistake, assuming that communication happened.
Jonathan Levi: Oh, that's such a good one for me right now. Do go on.
Niurka: Yes, I think it was George Bernard Shaw. If I'm remembering a quote that said the biggest mistake in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Just because you've liked talked doesn't mean communication has happened. It's having the sensory awareness and acuity to recognize how is your communication being received in another person's map of the world and having the compassion and the behavioral flexibility to change your communication, you know until you have authentic understanding.
So the first is don't assume that communication happened. Secondly, is don't make it about the other person. So many times I see someone point outside themselves and give reasons why another person is, or isn't showing up or a certain thing as, or isn't showing up in their life. And in life, you know, you either give reasons or you create results.
And anytime that we put the cause of something outside of ourselves, Where an examples of that or blaming or justifying or trying to make other people wrong or trying to be right any time we make it about another person we're not evolving. So the first thing that I would say is take full ownership for your communication and how it's being received.
And a thing that you can say to yourself for the listeners is that my communication is the response I get. So, you know, because two people can say a similar thing in two different ways and one gets resistance and the other one brings this authentic alignment. What's the difference. It's not just the actual message.
It's the energy behind the message. It's the words that were chosen. It's the presupposition in those statements that determine how it's received. So take ownership. And be flexible if you don't get the response that's if you receive resistance, be flexible and change your approach.
Jonathan Levi: Definitely. Although I'm wondering how you reconcile that with something that I learned last year, which really dramatically actually changed my perception of human emotion, which is very simple.
And in the strangest context, someone explained to me that everyone is responsible for their own emotions. And it was in this that he said, you know, This person didn't break your heart. This person did what was right for them or what they felt was right for them. And your heart was broken and those two events are separate.
So how do we reconcile this? You know, being clear about communication while still understanding that sometimes people are going to be hurt by our words or by our actions. And we don't want that to happen, but we have to accept the fact that. You know, they have agency, they have a right to feel, however they want to feel, but that's not unless that was our intention.
That's not on us.
Niurka: So you want to be aware of what's coming up for you in the presence of that conversation. I mean, obviously, if you're communicating with another person, the highest choice would be to be mindful to communicate whatever it is that you're communicating in such a way that creates the greatest result for all parties.
I mean, that's like the bigger picture where you're not just thinking about you and them, and you're in this polarized perception about you and them, but you can kind of rise above that and go, okay. What's the greatest way for me to deliver this message in honoring really it's a sense of honor honoring all parties involved.
So let's say that you're in an intimate relationship. You decide this just isn't working for you and you've come rule. Clear where you've looked at different alternatives and it's not in alignment with who you are and your values and the direction you're heading. And what's most important to you in your life?
Well, I mean, you could just say, you know what I'm done with you and. That wouldn't be the highest choice because it's not really taking into consideration the bigger picture. Possibly, you know, we don't know based on the intricacies of that particular relationship, but I would invite someone to, you know, look at the bigger picture and how can they communicate the authenticity of what's true for them to the other person in an honoring way.
And then the second thing would be whatever comes up for you, you take ownership for that. So let's say the other person responds in a certain way. You're not taking their stuff on. You're being totally present to what's coming up for you in the presence of it. And if what's coming up for you is, you know, let's say I'm feeling sad or I'm feeling hurt or I'm feeling whatever that may be, or I'm feeling clear that this doesn't work.
The greatest insight for you and your evolution. You being, the person who's communicating is based on what's coming up for you. If you make it about the other person, you did this, you're not doing that. You never listened. That's where evolution stuff. Right.
Jonathan Levi: And you know, that was such a breakthrough for me, that just the concept that nobody has ever hurt me, people have done things and I have been heard and it's not, you know, it's not saying that it's a rational choice to be hurt, but it's acknowledging that because of me and because of my unique history and because of what.
Is painful for me or not painful or sensitive or whatever. It's that those two actors acted separately and acknowledging that.
Niurka: You know, what's so beautiful about what you're saying, and there's actually a term for this in NLP it's called complex equivalents. And what it means is that two things are made need to mean the same thing or made to be equal.
So like you did, this means you don't love me, or you did. This means this. And they're really two separate things that are interpreted to be one in the same. And you hear this in language. Because the presuppositions often illuminate that someone is making two things that really don't have anything to do with themselves one in the same.
And that's where people get stuck. They're taking something personal and making it about themselves where that's really not the truth about the bigger picture.
Jonathan Levi: Right. I was talking to a friend recently and she said, well, you know, he did this. So he, obviously, I was like, stop right there. Not obvious, you know, that's not the case that's obvious to you.
Maybe not obvious to him and you know that. So he, or so she, or so they. I think that disconnect is really important. Niurka, I wanted to ask a big question, which I think a lot of people think about myself included, which is what makes a person influential, powerful, or persuasive to others. I think a lot of us want to be leaders.
A lot of us want to be that dynamic boss or that dynamic manager, that dynamic entrepreneur that people just want to follow and that people want to get behind and support. How do we do that?
Niurka: We don't do that. We are that. We live it. It's not a doing, I think that's where a lot of people get confused. It's like, they feel like it's something that they need to do.
It's not a doing, I am that. So the way to be influential, you know, as you described is first to know thyself. Who are you? When you know who you are and you authentically live in the embodiment of that, and you create from this integrated place within yourself, you are influential. There's nothing that you're doing per se.
It's not like you've got to go learn this strategy so that you can then be influential. You become like a tuning fork. And you begin to attract people and experiences into your life that harmonize with your same essence, your core, the nucleus of who you are, your core values, and then your influential, not as a function of what you're doing, but as a function of who you're being, and those that are in alignment with that want to play with you, they want to be a part of it.
They show up consistently. Then you think, and you speak and you act from this space of congruency. So I would say what really creates a leader is a sense of congruency. And what I mean by that is that their thoughts, their words, their actions are aligned with who they really are consistently. And that brings power.
It's not power over a person or thing, because power over something isn't real power. Power over something is really control often stemming from fear masked in the illusion of power. This is something that needs nothing because you are that. And interestingly, in the beginning, we talked about meditation and it's the same thing.
A lot of times people are doing meditation. How many times do I have people walk up to me? And they go, Niurka, uh, how do I meditate? Well, that question presupposes this strategic step of meditation, where true meditation is a state of being. It's not an action that you sit in Lotus position and touch your four fingers through your thumbs.
You know, that's part of it, but it's deeper than that. True authentic meditation is living in the awareness of the undifferentiated nature that, you know, the essence of life that flows in as, and through all things. And from that, you transcend this feeling of duality and you live in this unified field and then you create from this place.
So who are you being? I would invite people to ask, who are you being before? What do I need to do?
Jonathan Levi: Wow. Okay. I'm going to need to digest that. I have a feeling our audience is going to need to hit the skip back button and listen to that twice. Cause there's a lot to digest there. And I think, you know, especially with the meditation and this idea of separating, you know, on that topic of our audience and how they can act upon this stuff, I want to ask, we really like to give homework.
I'm kind of evil in that regard. You know, I'm an online educator, so I like to give homework. And we've talked about so many different points and they all ultimately come down to, or boil it down to know yourself, know exactly who you are and how you are. And I sense also a big element of accept yourself.
So I wanted to ask Niurka, how can we give our audience a piece of homework that they can practice today to better know themselves, or really start to know themselves in that authentic way that you described?
Niurka: Absolutely. Well, first, I'm going to give everyone who's listening a gift. I'm going to give you a video, so that can be your homework.
So it's not evil. So you could watch this video. The video is going to give you three specific secrets on how you can communicate in a way that brings understanding and inspires action and just go to supremeinfluence.com/becomingsuperhuman. Supremeinfluence.com/becomingsuperhuman and then listen, and watch that video. And it's going to give you three specific secrets and then you can take action on those three specific secrets. I don't want to give them away because they're very clear on this video. It's about a 25-minute video, and then you can go on my Facebook page, which is facebook.com/niurkainc.
You'll see it on my website. And let me know what you learned so you can share with me what specifically you took action on from that video and how it's impacted your business and life. And I'll just give you one little tip on them. One of the insights, there is the power of asking questions and I give you specific insights on how you ask questions because we're asking questions all day long.
And a lot of times these questions are outside of conscious awareness. Well, every question that you ask contains embedded assumptions. That are usually outside of conscious awareness and these embedded assumptions that are called the presuppositions. They presuppose the existence of something. They signal your brain to go and find things that are in alignment with what you're declaring.
So even though we're in this universe of infinite possibilities, often people keep recreating the same experience of reality in the midst of infinite possibilities. And part of that is because they keep asking the same questions. So as you expand your awareness and ask better questions, you get expanded results and juicy or experiences in your life.
Jonathan Levi: As Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Fantastic. Niurka, I want to thank you so much for joining us today. I definitely took away some inspiration, as I told you before our call has been a little bit of a long week and you know, I'm feeling a little bit beat down and stressed out.
So I'm really thankful and I'm sure audience is thankful for you sharing your energy and enthusiasm with us. And just to reiterate for everyone in the audience do, please go ahead and check out those free videos willing to them in the blog post as well, but then you can also check them out on the link that Niurka gave you.
Niurka, thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you today.
Niurka: It has been wonderful. I'm looking forward to meeting all the people that are on the call. It's been wonderful being with you and they can check us out @supremeinfluence.com. So, thanks for having me. This was fun.
Jonathan Levi: My pleasure. Let's do keep in touch.
Niurka: Okay. Take care. Lots of love.
Jonathan Levi: All right, SuperFriends. That's it for this week's episode. We hope you really, really enjoyed it and learn a ton of applicable stuff that can help you go out there and overcome the impossible. If so, please do us a favor and leave us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or however you found this podcast.
In addition to that, we are. Always looking for great guest posts on the blog or awesome guests right here on the podcast. So if you know somebody or you are somebody, or you have thought of somebody who would be a great fit for the show or for our blog, please reach out to us either on Twitter. Or by email or email is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks so much.
Closing: Thanks for tuning in to the Becoming SuperHuman Podcast for more great skills and strategies, or for links to any of the resources mentioned in this episode, visit www.becomingasuperhuman.com/podcast. We'll see you next time.
Thanks, I learned a lot of interesting things in past episodes.
loved th heart and the depth of the conversation. The way that Dr. Metivier shared from his enormous experience and insights was just amazing. Thank you Jonathan for doing this podcast!! 🙂
Great interview with Dr. Greg Wells! He mentioned a doctor from Colorado around the 42:30 point of the podcast, discussing turmeric and black pepper. I couldn’t make out the doctor’s name. Can you provide me with his full name and maybe his website or contact info. Interested in his products.
I am new here, and learning really fast.
Maybe oarts of the things he has to share are right, maybe not. If I look at him which impact his nurturing and living style has on himself I see a very old looking man! He is year 1973!! That is not old and he looks definitly much older!! If I would not know his birthyear I would guess that he is in his mid-60ies!! A bit concering for someone who claims his lifestyle is suitable for a long life, isn’t it?