Chris Voss On The Art Of Negotiation And Building Trust With People

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“Seed your success, instead of your argument.”
— Chris Voss

Greetings, SuperFriends!

Welcome to a very special episode!

It is special because… I originally lost it. No, I'm not joking…

Out of 200+ episodes, I have never lost a podcast episode, and yet this one I did. To make things even worse, the episode was amazing – in fact, I think it was our best episode recorded in 2018.

Anyway, the great news is our guest was so gracious that he was willing to rerecord it! And now, IĀ hear you asking, who is this amazing guest?

Well, it is Chris Voss, the CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of the national best-seller “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It“, which was named one of the seven best books on negotiation.

A 24-year veteran of the FBI, plus former member of a SWAT team, Chris retired as the lead international kidnapping negotiator, and then built his company helping businesses and individuals solve problems based on that exact experience and the accompanying skills.

Their negotiation methodology focuses on something different, which is discovering the ā€œBlack Swans,ā€ small pieces of information that have a huge effect on an outcome. Chris and his team have helped companies secure and close better deals, save money, and solve internal communication problems.

Which is why you've probably seen Chris in TIME, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Inc., Fast Company, Fortune, The Washington Post, CNN, ABC News and much more…

Chris Voss is the negotiation expert. And, if you're not in business and wondering what you're going to learn today that's valuable to you, it turns out that negotiation is a part of all of our lives, every single day, and we often don't even realize it.

The skills that Chris teaches toĀ peopleĀ are not only revolutionalizing their businesses, they're also revolutionalizing their relationships, their families, their personal lives, and much more.

In this episode, we go deep in various amazing topics, like:

  • Human psychology
  • How you can better build trust with people
  • How you can deal with incredibly high-stress situations without freaking out
  • Why you need to learn to handle stress to become more effective
  • And, of course, how to better negotiate and have better outcomes both for you and for your partner

It's an incredible episode, which I think is almost as good, if not just as good as the first time we recorded it!

I'm certain you folks are going to enjoy this!

– Jonathan Levi

Every month, weā€™ll invite top experts to host their own 30-day challenges, solely for the members of this groupā€¦ Plus, each member will get awesome gear delivered to their home, AND discounts on various of our products! Click on the banner to find out more!

Every month, weā€™ll invite top experts to host their own 30-day challenges, solely for the members of this groupā€¦ Plus, each member will get awesome gear delivered to their home, AND discounts on various of our products! Click on the banner to find out more!

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Who is Chris Voss, and what does he do? [7:10]
  • What was Chris's journey that led to him becoming the lead international kidnapping negotiator? [7:50]
  • How did Chris learn to thrive under pressure? [9:00]
  • The transition from police SWAT officer to hostage negotiator [9:45]
  • Does talent actually exist? [10:30]
  • Why is negotiation a master skill? [11:15]
  • How did Chris's book title come to be, and what does it mean to him? [13:50]
  • Making the pie larger instead of just splitting it [16:00]
  • How does Chris Voss handle stress and decision making under pressure? [17:50]
  • The importance of being willing to take risks [19:20]
  • How did Chris maintain top mental performance under prolonged stressful situations, like kidnapping negotiations? [21:40]
  • How does Chris build trust with people so that they support his decisions? [23:40]
  • What are some common pitfalls regarding negotiation? [25:55]
  • What happens when things start going south? [28:10]
  • An incredible story from Chris's career as a hostage negotiator [32:00]
  • Picking up a few skills from negotiating tactics for ourselves [36:25]
  • Some homework you can try out [39:40]
  • A few words about Chris's book “Never Split The Difference” [42:30]
  • Where can you learn more about Chris Voss? [44:45]
  • Chris Voss's final takeaway message [46:00]

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Favorite Quotes from Chris Voss:

“There are very few things that we can't learn.”
“There's no such thing as a gifted negotiator.”
“If you're trying to get someone's cooperation, you are in a negotiation.”
“Compromise is responsible for so many bad outcomes.”
“Your biggest mistake is probably inaction, failing to make a decision.”
“Focus on how and what as your opening questions, avoid why.”
“If you want to make your point, just try to paraphrase what the other side has said first.”
“Hear the other side out. You might be surprised by what they have to say.”

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19 Comments

  1. Luiz
    at — Reply

    Thanks, I learned a lot of interesting things in past episodes.

  2. Shivaditya Purohit
    at — Reply

    loved th heart and the depth of the conversation. The way that Dr. Metivier shared from his enormous experience and insights was just amazing. Thank you Jonathan for doing this podcast!! šŸ™‚

  3. Rob
    at — Reply

    Great interview with Dr. Greg Wells! He mentioned a doctor from Colorado around the 42:30 point of the podcast, discussing turmeric and black pepper. I couldnā€™t make out the doctorā€™s name. Can you provide me with his full name and maybe his website or contact info. Interested in his products.

    Thanks,

    Rob

  4. Muhammed Sani Ibrahim
    at — Reply

    I am new here, and learning really fast.
    Thank you.

  5. Leonia
    at — Reply

    Maybe oarts of the things he has to share are right, maybe not. If I look at him which impact his nurturing and living style has on himself I see a very old looking man! He is year 1973!! That is not old and he looks definitly much older!! If I would not know his birthyear I would guess that he is in his mid-60ies!! A bit concering for someone who claims his lifestyle is suitable for a long life, isn’t it?

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